Manifest Dreams Life Coaching and Manifestation Center


Contents: HOME Life Coaching Parenting Theory Articles Online Session Success Stories F.A.Q. News Mailing List Download Register Links Affiliates TheCode Online Manifestation	What Are We Teaching Our Children? Your beliefs and attitudes form the entire basis for your experienced (subjective) reality. We are mere observers of experience and our observations are totally subjective. Some philosophers would say that the closest we can come to experiencing true reality is in the state of Samadhi. Wikipedia defines Samadhi this way: (Sanskrit:, lit. "establish, make firm") is a Hindu and Buddhist term that describes a non-dualistic state of consciousness in which the consciousness of the experiencing subject becomes one with the experienced object, [1] and in which the mind becomes still (onepointed or concentrated) [2] though the person remains conscious. Quantum physicists report that at the subatomic level the very act of observing alters that which is being observed. You may have experienced the same phenomenon, in which the mere act of looking at someone (even from a distance) draws her attention and you make eye contact. Your act of observing has caused the subject of your observation to react (by feeling your stare and looking back at you). Now, (stay with me here!), imagine that you affect and alter the behavior of everyone and everything that is the subject of your attention/intention. That which you expect to see has a habit of showing up to confirm your expectations. A study by Robert Rosenthal and Lenore Jacobson, called The Pygmalion Study, concluded that students' intellectual development is largely a response to what teachers expect and how those expectations are communicated. Teachers of grades one through six in a San Francisco elementary school were given false information about the learning potential of certain randomly selected students. The teachers were led to expect that certain students had superior learning potential. The researchers discovered that a statistically significant number of the "subject students", particularly those in grades one and two, had higher IQ test scores than their peers of comparable ability. The Urban Review Pygmalion in the Classroom by Robert Rosenthal Lenore Jacobson Your expectations of yourself and beliefs about other people have a profound influence that leads one person to see only the praise-worthy qualities of a friend while another person views the same individual as a jerk. It all comes down to core beliefs and perceptions of reality. Garbage In - Garbage Out You may or may not have a personal ideology or belief system that you've created for yourself. The vast majority of people feel that they are or try to be a good person. Beyond that, in my experience, few people truly know what they believe. Of those who have a pretty clear idea of what they believe fewer still have an integrated and consistent belief system that resists hypocrisy and has few if any anomalies. Unfortunately, our subjective view of our own persona is highly inaccurate. Misguided parental tapes pass on qualities of poor self-esteem, arrogance and false pride and dozens of other negative scripts. These scripts, both negative and positive, form the basis of our mental operating system or MOS. Psychologists have theorized that the brain is like a computer running an operating system and connected to the Internet. Unfortunately, your mind can be running faulty programming with limiting and self-destructive thinking patterns. Have you ever felt that nothing you do works? That everything you attempt is way more difficult than it has any cause to be? In some ways it is like trying to operate a computer with nasty viruses. Your progress just gets slower and less efficient, mistakes are made and nothing seems to work as intended. Would you continue to operate your computer with a faulty operating system, one that's loaded with viruses and faulty data? The sources of faulty programming are not limited to parents by any means. Did you see the GM commercial for the Hummer? This commercial directly appealed to humanity's most base instincts. Every time it airs I cringe with disgust and mute it. "Two moms are at a playground and one mom takes her son and cuts in line. The other mom says: "my son was next!" But, the rude mom just smirks and says: "Well, now my son is next". "Loser mom" grabs her kid off the playground, rushes down to the local Hummer dealership, signs the papers for a brand new Hummer (No, this mom doesn't need hubby's permission, she just signs on the dotted line and commits to $57,000+- expenditure), and heads back to the playground. Her face wears a smug look of "we'll see who is in charge now". The slogan comes up: "Get Your Girl Out." What are we teaching our children? In the past I've worked with youths with challenging behaviors. In many instances the parents have reported violent outbursts, antisocial behaviors and even depression. I've rarely, if ever, read the "diagnoses" or reason for the referral prior to meeting the client because I don't want to prejudice my mind by expecting to see "behaviors". Again, what your mind is conditioned to expect will manifest! I've seen things that have surprised me! Children who are nearly unmanageable in the home setting seem to transform into relatively polite and caring kids in my presence outside the home. Yes, some children appear to have ADHD. It can be quite noticeable. But, I've seen these children doing a remarkable job of coping with their disabilities. Many so-called problem kids never had a single "behavior" once we left the home and were away from their parents or guardian. What does this tell us? I trust my instincts. I try to be in touch with my intuitive side. When I spend time with a child in his home setting I put myself in his shoes…and, often, I feel abused, disrespected, bossed around, mistrusted and even disliked. I've seen parents ranting at their son telling him he's stupid, lazy and untrustworthy. The other day I witnessed a grandmother yelling at her grandson "Don't cheat!!!" at the end of a game of Yahtzee. Mind you, he was doing nothing more than adding up his score. Naturally, he became quite upset that she had accused him of cheating. In any event, despite some minor errors in addition, he had fairly and squarely won the game beating both his dad and yours truly. On occasion I've left the home of a client feeling a high level of anxiety. Believe me, it can be a very painful experience walking in the shoes of kids from troubled homes. Please Note: Not all homes and not all families of troubled children are dysfunctional. I've also witnessed the heights of caring, patience and love from parents who are coping with a child with Aspergers Syndrome, autism or a history of early childhood abuse from a previous family, for example. But, what I've seen is that parents with limiting beliefs pass them along like a virus to their offspring. Fortunately, most of us have a self-preserving servo-mechanism or BS meter that occasionally rejects bad information. But, a parent's deeply held assumptions about life (the T-shirt one parent was wearing the other day said: LIFE IS PAIN!!!!) seep into the child's subconscious and form the basis of their defective mental operating system. These beliefs are insidious. They are hard to identify and even harder to root out. Your attitudes and beliefs either empower you or undermine everything you do. Let's look at some core beliefs that you'll need to install in your MOS or mental operating system. 1. You are responsible for your success…or failure! All Twelve Step Programs emphasize that only you can initiate change in your life. You are responsible for changing from where you are now to the person you intend to become. You may have acquired "bad programming" from parents, teachers, relatives and even friends. Many scientists believe television and even certain music like gangster rap creates negative attractor patterns that attract negative energy like static electricity attracts lint. But, once you realize the problem you must take responsibility for fixing it. It is your life! Blame solves nothing. Awareness without action is irresponsible! Taking a lot of time in identifying how your life has been corrupted by bad attitudes and habits is wasteful and actually counter productive. The past is a "done deal". Rehashing it is not a solution. The very act of focusing on past mistreatment and current failure gives power to the past and undermines positive change. What you place your attention on gains power and will manifest. By rehashing your mistakes, failures and problems you inevitably attract more of the same. This is The Law of Attraction. The only thing that is necessary is to identify those faulty, self-defeating scripts and rebuilding your thought patterns, your very habits of thinking so that you effortlessly and happily choose a successful way of coping every single time. In my life coaching practice I've discovered a way to teach clients to be aware of these self-defeating thought patterns. I show clients simple and effective methods to instantly delete these scripts from daily use. 2. Fear You may love driving at high speeds or even sky diving but I've discovered that FEAR of change holds most people back. Women in abusive relationships go back to the men who abuse them fearing the unknown more than the everyday horrors of their existence. It is easy to become conditioned to persistent abuse (both mental and physical). It is easy to buy into the belief that what the abuser says is the "true you". Fear of challenging the abuser when your personal boundaries are violated is the single greatest cause of failure in abusive relationships. Men stay in dead end jobs because they fear the challenge of starting a new job, the fear of failure and learning new routines. As incredible as it may seem fear is a handicap worse than polio or just about anything else you can name. Helping Our Children…and Ourselves The beginning of constructive change is when you do two things: 1. You acknowledge that whatever you are thinking, feeling and doing now is not working for you. 2. You take responsibility for changing those habits and attitudes that we have identified as "faulty". Forgive the past. Forgive your past mistakes and forgive those who may have intentionally or inadvertently programmed you for failure. Take Action When you take responsibility for changing your current life it implies that you TAKE ACTION. A thought without action is powerless. Only by taking action can you begin to recover your personal power to control your life. And, the first step in taking action is making a decision and a commitment. Make a Firm Commitment to Your Success and Future Happiness Have you attended college and gotten a degree? If so, you know that completing a college degree program takes an enormous commitment of time and money in pursuit of a goal: knowledge and a degree. While the knowledge is certainly beneficial, of more importance are the lessons learned about self-discipline and commitment to achieving a long-range goal. Every day that you squander with a miserable, fearful attitude is another day irretrievably lost. It can mean that you continue to live with enormous stress that will lead to disease and an early death. Many scientists now say that stress (and how we cope with it) is the leading cause of disease. Failing to change can mean a never-ending trail of sad, broken relationships with the sins of the past revisiting every few years to cause you and your loved ones more pain and sorrow. Failing to change can mean years slipping away while the dreams of your youth collapse in heartbreak and disappointment. Failing to change can mean that you settle for the Ford Escort (the ten year old one with the noisy transmission) instead of the brand new Lexus and the classic 1963 Split Window Corvette Coupe in the garage. It can mean worrying about paying your bills day-in and day-out for year after year and then settling for a paltry retirement on social security and little else. Are you ready to change your life? I encourage you to take the first step. About the Author David Davies is the founder of Manifest Dreams Life Coaching Center in Wiscasset, Maine. He is the author of nine books. Dave has just completed The Total Makeover, 24 Tools To Transform Your Child's Behavior and Attitude in Five Minutes a Day. More information can be found at his website at his parenting web sites: www.TransformKidsNow.com or his life coaching web site at www.InfinityFactor.com © 2008 David Davies. All rights reserved. You may publish this article on a web site, in a magazine or other media so long as it is not sold commercially nor used in a commercial product. No part of this article may be changed in any way. The author's contact information must remain intact. If you have a story about manifesting Dave wants to hear it. There is a feedback form on the web site. For more information: Contact Dave at 866-375-6941 E-mail: ddavies@menami.com Web Site: www.InfinityFactor.com Manifest Dreams www.infinityfactor.com Email: ddavies@menami.com 334 Lowell Town Road Wiscasset, Maine 04578 © 2007 Manifest Dreams, LL© 2008 David Davies
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What Are We Teaching Our Children?

Your beliefs and attitudes form the entire basis for your experienced (subjective) reality. We are mere observers of experience and our observations are totally subjective. Some philosophers would say that the closest we can come to experiencing true reality is in the state of Samadhi.

Wikipedia defines Samadhi this way: (Sanskrit:, lit. "establish, make firm") is a Hindu and Buddhist term that describes a non-dualistic state of consciousness in which the consciousness of the experiencing subject becomes one with the experienced object,

[1] and in which the mind becomes still (onepointed or concentrated)

[2] though the person remains conscious.

Quantum physicists report that at the subatomic level the very act of observing alters that which is being observed. You may have experienced the same phenomenon, in which the mere act of looking at someone (even from a distance) draws her attention and you make eye contact.

Your act of observing has caused the subject of your observation to react (by feeling your stare and looking back at you).

Now, (stay with me here!), imagine that you affect and alter the behavior of everyone and everything that is the subject of your attention/intention.

That which you expect to see has a habit of showing up to confirm your expectations.

A study by Robert Rosenthal and Lenore Jacobson, called The Pygmalion Study,

concluded that students' intellectual development is largely a response to what teachers expect and how those expectations are communicated.

Teachers of grades one through six in a San Francisco elementary school were given false information about the learning potential of certain randomly selected students. The teachers were led to expect that certain students had superior learning potential.

The researchers discovered that a statistically significant number of the "subject students", particularly those in grades one and two, had higher IQ test scores than their peers of comparable ability.

The Urban Review

Pygmalion in the Classroom by Robert Rosenthal

Lenore Jacobson

Your expectations of yourself and beliefs about other people have a profound influence that leads one person to see only the praise-worthy qualities of a friend while another person views the same individual as a jerk.

It all comes down to core beliefs and perceptions of reality.

Garbage In - Garbage Out

You may or may not have a personal ideology or belief system that you've created for yourself. The vast majority of people feel that they are or try to be a good person. Beyond that, in my experience, few people truly know what they believe.

Of those who have a pretty clear idea of what they believe fewer still have an integrated and consistent belief system that resists hypocrisy and has few if any anomalies. Unfortunately, our subjective view of our own persona is highly inaccurate. Misguided parental tapes pass on qualities of poor self-esteem, arrogance and false pride and dozens of other negative scripts. These scripts, both negative and positive, form the basis of our mental operating system or MOS.

Psychologists have theorized that the brain is like a computer running an operating system and connected to the Internet. Unfortunately, your mind can be running faulty programming with limiting and self-destructive thinking patterns.

Have you ever felt that nothing you do works? That everything you attempt is way more difficult than it has any cause to be?

In some ways it is like trying to operate a computer with nasty viruses. Your progress just gets slower and less efficient, mistakes are made and nothing seems to work as intended. Would you continue to operate your computer with a faulty operating system, one that's loaded with viruses and faulty data?

The sources of faulty programming are not limited to parents by any means.

Did you see the GM commercial for the Hummer? This commercial directly appealed to humanity's most base instincts. Every time it airs I cringe with disgust and mute it.

"Two moms are at a playground and one mom takes her son and cuts in line. The other mom says: "my son was next!" But, the rude mom just smirks and says:

"Well, now my son is next".

"Loser mom" grabs her kid off the playground, rushes down to the local Hummer

dealership, signs the papers for a brand new Hummer (No, this mom doesn't need hubby's permission, she just signs on the dotted line and commits to $57,000+- expenditure), and heads back to the playground. Her face wears a smug look of "we'll see who is in charge now".

The slogan comes up: "Get Your Girl Out."

What are we teaching our children?

In the past I've worked with youths with challenging behaviors. In many instances the parents have reported violent outbursts, antisocial behaviors and even depression.

I've rarely, if ever, read the "diagnoses" or reason for the referral prior to meeting the client because I don't want to prejudice my mind by expecting to see "behaviors".

Again, what your mind is conditioned to expect will manifest!

I've seen things that have surprised me! Children who are nearly unmanageable in the home setting seem to transform into relatively polite and caring kids in my presence outside the home. Yes, some children appear to have ADHD. It can be quite noticeable. But, I've seen these children doing a remarkable job of coping with their disabilities.

Many so-called problem kids never had a single "behavior" once we left the home and were away from their parents or guardian.

What does this tell us?

I trust my instincts. I try to be in touch with my intuitive side. When I spend time with a child in his home setting I put myself in his shoes…and, often, I feel abused, disrespected, bossed around, mistrusted and even disliked. I've seen parents ranting at their son telling him he's stupid, lazy and untrustworthy.

The other day I witnessed a grandmother yelling at her grandson "Don't cheat!!!" at the end of a game of Yahtzee. Mind you, he was doing nothing more than adding up his score. Naturally, he became quite upset that she had accused him of cheating. In any event, despite some minor errors in addition, he had fairly and squarely won the game beating both his dad and yours truly.

On occasion I've left the home of a client feeling a high level of anxiety. Believe me, it can be a very painful experience walking in the shoes of kids from troubled homes.

Please Note:

Not all homes and not all families of troubled children are dysfunctional. I've also witnessed the heights of caring, patience and love from parents who are coping with a child with Aspergers Syndrome, autism or a history of early childhood abuse from a previous family, for example.

But, what I've seen is that parents with limiting beliefs pass them along like a virus to their offspring.

Fortunately, most of us have a self-preserving servo-mechanism or BS meter that occasionally rejects bad information. But, a parent's deeply held assumptions about life (the T-shirt one parent was wearing the other day said: LIFE IS PAIN!!!!) seep into the child's subconscious and form the basis of their defective mental operating system.

These beliefs are insidious. They are hard to identify and even harder to root out.

Your attitudes and beliefs either empower you or undermine everything you do. Let's look at some core beliefs that you'll need to install in your MOS or mental operating system.

1. You are responsible for your success…or failure!

All Twelve Step Programs emphasize that only you can initiate change in your life. You are responsible for changing from where you are now to the person you intend to become.

You may have acquired "bad programming" from parents, teachers, relatives and even friends.

Many scientists believe television and even certain music like gangster rap creates negative attractor patterns that attract negative energy like static electricity attracts lint.

But, once you realize the problem you must take responsibility for fixing it. It is your life! Blame solves nothing. Awareness without action is irresponsible!

Taking a lot of time in identifying how your life has been corrupted by bad attitudes and habits is wasteful and actually counter productive. The past is a "done deal". Rehashing it is not a solution. The very act of focusing on past mistreatment and current failure gives power to the past and undermines positive change.

What you place your attention on gains power and will manifest. By rehashing your mistakes, failures and problems you inevitably attract more of the same. This is The Law of Attraction.

The only thing that is necessary is to identify those faulty, self-defeating scripts and rebuilding your thought patterns, your very habits of thinking so that you effortlessly and happily choose a successful way of coping every single time.

In my life coaching practice I've discovered a way to teach clients to be aware of these self-defeating thought patterns. I show clients simple and effective methods to instantly delete these scripts from daily use.

2. Fear

You may love driving at high speeds or even sky diving but I've discovered that FEAR of change holds most people back. Women in abusive relationships go back to the men who abuse them fearing the unknown more than the everyday horrors of their existence.

It is easy to become conditioned to persistent abuse (both mental and physical). It is easy to buy into the belief that what the abuser says is the "true you". Fear of challenging the abuser when your personal boundaries are violated is the single greatest cause of failure in abusive relationships.

Men stay in dead end jobs because they fear the challenge of starting a new job, the fear of failure and learning new routines. As incredible as it may seem fear is a handicap worse than polio or just about anything else you can name.

Helping Our Children…and Ourselves

The beginning of constructive change is when you do two things:

1. You acknowledge that whatever you are thinking, feeling and doing now is not working for you.

2. You take responsibility for changing those habits and attitudes that we have identified as "faulty". Forgive the past. Forgive your past mistakes and forgive those who may have intentionally or inadvertently programmed you for failure.

Take Action

When you take responsibility for changing your current life it implies that you TAKE ACTION.

A thought without action is powerless. Only by taking action can you begin to recover your personal power to control your life. And, the first step in taking action is making a decision and a commitment.

Make a Firm Commitment to Your Success and Future Happiness

Have you attended college and gotten a degree? If so, you know that completing a college degree program takes an enormous commitment of time and money in pursuit of a goal: knowledge and a degree. While the knowledge is certainly beneficial, of more importance are the lessons learned about self-discipline and commitment to achieving a long-range goal.

Every day that you squander with a miserable, fearful attitude is another day irretrievably lost. It can mean that you continue to live with enormous stress that will lead to disease and an early death. Many scientists now say that stress (and how we cope with it) is the leading cause of disease.

Failing to change can mean a never-ending trail of sad, broken relationships with the sins of the past revisiting every few years to cause you and your loved ones more pain and sorrow.

Failing to change can mean years slipping away while the dreams of your youth collapse in heartbreak and disappointment.

Failing to change can mean that you settle for the Ford Escort (the ten year old one with the noisy transmission) instead of the brand new Lexus and the classic 1963 Split Window Corvette Coupe in the garage.

It can mean worrying about paying your bills day-in and day-out for year after year and then settling for a paltry retirement on social security and little else.

Are you ready to change your life? I encourage you to take the first step.

About the Author

David Davies is the founder of Manifest Dreams Life Coaching Center in Wiscasset, Maine. He is the author of nine books. Dave has just completed The Total Makeover, 24 Tools To Transform Your Child's Behavior and Attitude in Five Minutes a Day.

More information can be found at his website at his parenting web sites: www.TransformKidsNow.com or his life coaching web site at www.InfinityFactor.com

© 2008 David Davies. All rights reserved. You may publish this article on a web site, in a magazine or other media so long as it is not sold commercially nor used in a commercial product. No part of this article may be changed in any way. The author's contact information must remain intact.

If you have a story about manifesting Dave wants to hear it. There is a feedback form on the web site. For more information:

Contact Dave at 866-375-6941

E-mail: ddavies@menami.com

Web Site: www.InfinityFactor.com

Manifest Dreams

www.infinityfactor.com Email: ddavies@menami.com

334 Lowell Town Road

Wiscasset, Maine 04578

Click for more information

Contents:

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What Are We Teaching Our Children?

Garbage In - Garbage Out

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